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Little Johnny’s Father

Little Johnny was in his class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up – –

Fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.

Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. “My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if an offers really good he’ll go out to the alley with some guy and have sex with him for money.”

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring, and took little Johnny aside to ask him, “Is that really true about your father?”

“No,” said Johnny, “He’s actually a lawyer, but I was too embarrassed to say so in front of the other kids!”

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August 9, 2006 Posted by | Jokes | Leave a comment

War Wound

A guy goes into a public washroom and has to use the only available urinal, between two elderly men. He glances to his left and sees the guy pissing, but there are two streams.

“What the hell is that?” he asks.

“War wound. I took a bullet in the penis in North Africa. They were able to save my dick but they had to leave two holes”

Then the guy looks to his right and sees… three streams!

“What the hell is that?”

“War wound. Germany, bullet in the penis, left three holes.”

The two veterans then look over at the guy in the middle and see… 12 streams!

“War wound??”

“Naah, my zipper’s stuck”

August 8, 2006 Posted by | Jokes | Leave a comment

Change of Underwear

The men of Charlie Company had been in the field for two weeks when the Sarge announces, “I’ve got good news and bad news. First the good news. Today we’re going to change our underwear.”

The troops started cheering at the news.

“Now the bad news. Smith, you change with Jones. Andrews, you change with Murphy…”

August 8, 2006 Posted by | Jokes | Leave a comment

kisi ko mohabbat ki sachaai maar dalegi

kisi ko mohabbat ki sachaai maar dalegi
kisi ko mohabbat ki gehraai maar dalegi
kar ke mohabbat koi nahi bachegaa
jo bach gayaa use tanhaaii maar dalegi

August 4, 2006 Posted by | Shayari | Leave a comment

Chaaho to dil se hume mitaa denaa

Chaaho to dil se hume mitaa denaa
Chaaho to humko bhulaa denaa
Par yeh waadaa karo ki aaye jo kabhi yaad humaari
Ronaa mat sirf muskuraa denaa

August 4, 2006 Posted by | Shayari | Leave a comment

Reh jaoonga main to tanha mehfil mein

Reh jaoonga main to tanha mehfil mein
naa hoga koi saathi mera saahil pe
Naa koi tamanna is toote dil ki
mar gayi hai hasratein sab is dil ki…

August 4, 2006 Posted by | Shayari | Leave a comment

Toot Jaate Hain Sabhi Rishte Magar

Toot Jaate Hain Sabhi Rishte Magar
Dil Se Dil Ka Raabta Apni Jagah
Dil Ko Hai Tujh Se Na Milne Ka Yaqeen
Tujh Se Milne Ki Dua Apni Jagah

August 3, 2006 Posted by | Shayari | Leave a comment

Majbooriyon ki haalat, idhar bhi hai, udhar bhi

Majbooriyon ki haalat, idhar bhi hai, udhar bhi,
Tanhaye ki ek raat idhar bhi hai udhar bhi,
Kahne ko bohot kuch hai magar kis se kahe hum
Kab tak yoon hi khamosh rahain aur sahe hum
Dil kahta hai duniya ki har ek rasam uthaa dain
Diwar jo hum dono main hai aaj giraa dain
Kya dil main sulagte rahain, logon ko bata dain,
Haan hum ko Mohabbat hai – Mohabbat hai – Mohabbat
Ab dil main yehi baaaat, idhar bhi hai udhar bhi……
Sab ko bata dain………

August 3, 2006 Posted by | Shayari | Leave a comment

I am a Father

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.

The man, who was a priest, said, “I am a Father”

The little boy replied, “My Daddy doesn’t wear his collar like that”.

The priest looked up from his book and answered, “I am the Father of many”.

The boy said, “My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two Grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way”.

The priest, getting impatient, said, “I am the Father of hundreds” and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, “Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar”.

August 2, 2006 Posted by | Jokes | Leave a comment

A Stuck Army Jeep

During an Army war game a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck.

“Sorry sir,” said one of the loafers, “but we’ve been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn’t contribute in any way.”

The C.O. turned to his driver and said, “Go drag a couple of those dead bodies over here and throw them under the wheels to give us some traction.”

August 2, 2006 Posted by | Jokes | Leave a comment